Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
