Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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