I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
