Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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