I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
