What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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