just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
