I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
only you would photoshop your dick
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
