Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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