Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize