I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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