they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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