never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
