this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
