i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
