U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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