I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
that's an acceptable place to lick
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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