She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize