oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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