1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize