I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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