apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
