you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
