you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
