im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just high enough for therapy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
