I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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