i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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