Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
