I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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