Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What a dumb baby whore.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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