they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
