need another drink. this is the easiest way
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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