Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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