i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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