I wish life had little blips of pornography
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
