I'm really into asian looking animals
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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