what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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