yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
