i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
