I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
