She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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