I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
