went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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