you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize