Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
