u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
