The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize