I wish I could teleport
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
