I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
