Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize