i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
