i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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