Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
