I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
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I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.