Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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