look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.