No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
