We're facebook friends in real life
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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