Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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