My hand turned me down
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
