When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
