did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
