Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her vagine was all disorganized.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
