her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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