She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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